Born to be Riled
Born to be Riled is a collection of hilarious vintage journalism from – bestselling author, Top Gear presenter, and columnist for both The Sun and the Sunday Times – Jeremy Clarkson.
Jeremy Clarkson, it has to be said, sometimes finds the world a maddening place. And nowhere more so than from behind the wheel of a car, where you can see any number of people acting like lunatics while in control (or not) of a ton of metal. In Born to be Riled, Clarkson takes a look at the world through his windscreeen, shakes his head at what he sees – and then puts the boot in.
Among other things, he explains:
• why Surrey is worse than
• how crossing your legs in
• the reason cable TV salesmen must be punched
• that divorce can be blamed on the birth of Jesus
Raving politicians, pointless celebrities, ridiculous ‘personalities’ and the Germans all get it in the neck, together with the stupid, the daft and ludicrous in a tour de force of comic writing guaranteed to have Clarkson’s postman wheezing under sackfuls of letters from the easily offended.
Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Clarkson On Cars, Don’t Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. His The World According to Clarkson series has sold over three million copies in the UK and places Clarkson frequently at the top of best seller lists.
Read a collection of Clarkson book extracts and quotes from Jeremy Clarkson’s latest titles.
GT90 in a flat spin
Earls Court becomes the fashion capital of the western
world this week as the London Anorak Show opens its
doors to members of the public.
Better known as the Motor Show, families will be donning
their finest acrylic fibres and braving the Piccadilly
Line so that they may gawp at all that’s new and shiny.
However, if you want to see all that’s really new and
shiny, you need to stay on the Piccadilly Line until you
arrive at Terminal Four. And then you should catch a
plane to Japan.
The trouble is that the London Motor Show clashes
with the Tokyo Motor Show, and there’s no surprises for
guessing which one is rated most highly by the exhibitors.
So, if a car manufacturer has spent all year developing a
new concept to wow the crowds at an exhibition, it goes
to Japan, leaving London with the mainstream stuff, the
kind of cars that are parked in your street anyway.
That said, it will be your first chance to see the Ferrari
F50 (which makes the show worthwhile all on its own)
and the TVR Cerbera, but as its astonishing engine will
be off, onlookers will be deprived of its USP.
Other notable debutantes include the MGF, the
Renault Megane, the really rather nice Fiat Bravo and, of
course, the fascinating and interesting Vauxhall Vectra
which, in case you can’t find it, is the one that looks
pretty much the same as a Cavalier.
However, pretty well all the one-off concept cars will
be in Tokyo, and in case you’re wondering why we don’t
move the dates of our show, I should remind you that we
once did. But because it no longer straddled the half-term
break, no one came. And anyway, the new dates meant
we were competing with Paris.
And all the manufacturers thought France more important
than London anyway. We could, of course, move
our event to June but I’ve just checked and there’s a show
on then in Pune, a small town 120 miles from Bombay.
And I’m pretty damn sure that’s where the car makers
would concentrate their resources.
The upshot of all this is that you won’t be able to see
the Ford GT90, and that’s a pity because it’s America’s
first attempt at a supercar.
At this point, I’m sure, Wilbur and Myrtle will be
running around waving their arms in the air and pointing
to the Corvette ZR-1 and the Dodge Viper, saying that
these are supercars. But they’re not.
And nor is that absurd Vector which is made in
agonizingly small numbers in California, and nor was the
Supercars are what the Europeans do. We are the only
ones who know how to make a car go quickly . . . round
People at Ford in Detroit say the old GT40 was a
supercar and that they made it, but again, they’re wrong.
It may have had an American engine but the rest of it, the
important stuff, was as American as Elgar.
The GT90 is their first attempt and it seems to work
rather well, because it is capable of 235mph, making it the
fastest road car in the world. It does 0 to 60 in 3.1 seconds
so it is pretty sprightly on that front too. And because it is
mid-engined, light and sits on a modified Jaguar XJ220
chassis, it should be pretty nifty through the bends too.
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