Jonathan Goldstein worries. A lot.
A year before his fortieth birthday, and Jonathan isn’t where he thinks he should be. With no wife, no kids, no car, and no house—not even a houseboat—what does he have?
Through a series of wonderfully funny stories, Jonathan recounts the highs and lows of his last year in his thirties, weighing in on topics such as the mysterious McRib, whether an automatic hand dryer can tell if you have a soul, and the underestimated power of a toy poodle. Filled with Jonathan’s trademark wit, I’ll Seize the Day Tomorrow is the tale of one man’s journey to find some great truth on his road to forty . . . or maybe not.
"Jonathan Goldstein is one of the funniest and most original writers I can think of. Anything by him is better than anything by just about anyone else."
“Jonathan Goldstein’s existential misery makes for good reading. As long as he keeps writing such funny and original pieces about it, I hope he continues to suffer.”
—Shalom Auslander, author of Foreskin’s Lament
“I want to write like Jonathan Goldstein someday... Jonathan is like a mix of Louis CK, Jean Paul Sartre, and Sholem Aleichem. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’s hilarious, philosophical, and Jewish. I want to be Jonathan Goldstein when I turn 40. (Note: I’m 44, but you know what I mean).”
—A.J. Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically
“I’ll Seize the Day Tomorrow is packed with Goldstein’s trademark combo of sharp-edged wit and tender wisdom. It’s his funniest book yet!”
—Miriam Toews, author of A Complicated Kindness
“Jonathan Goldstein has one of the most unique and compelling comic voices around. Surrounded by his cast of family and friends, this chronicle of his 39th year is a portrait of a life that is striving towards hope and beauty—even wisdom—against the relentless pull of the gravity that is one’s own character, and the entropy that is age. How can he make forgetting, and then remembering, that he has melba toast in his office drawer so goddamn funny? I smiled or laughed at every page.”
—Sheila Heti, author of How Should a Person Be?
“Jonathan Goldstein has created something uniquely funny, smart, and touching. I love this book.”
—Neil Pasricha, author of The New York Times bestseller The Book of Awesome
“Jonathan Goldstein is one of today’s most original and intelligent comic voices. He has done for radio what Larry David has done for television. And in his new book he proves, once again, that his wry, self-deprecating observations work just as well on the page.”
—David Bezmozgis, author of Natasha and Other Stories and The Free World
“With his brilliant deadpan and his all-seeing eye, the hilarious Jonathan Goldstein trafficks in what he calls ‘moderate hopefulness.’ It fills me with wild optimism.”
—Henry Alford, author of Would It Kill You To Stop Doing That?
Praise for Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible:
"It's the Greatest Story Ever Told only better. Who knew monotheism could be such fun."
—Sarah Vowell, author of Assassination Vacation and The Wordy Shipmates
"Funny... Goldstein's biblical characters evoke the kind of touching truths only found at the bottom of deep barrel laughs."
"Often-raucous reimaginings of Old Testament tales."