Reading Guides



  1. Do you agree with Gloria's "Must Haves" for a husband? What would you add or omit?

  2. In the book, Lisa, Jill and Gloria strongly believe that you should not live with a guy before marriage? Do you think they are right?

  3. Why do you think Jewish parents tell their daughters "What's His is Yours and What's Yours is Yours?" Do you think this is said in fun or meant to be taken seriously?

  4. In the book, Lisa and Jill claim that they do not and have never "suffered" from sibling rivalry. How much of that do you think is true? Is it possible to raise children without creating sibling rivalry?

  5. Competition between mother and daughter is a big no–no, according to the authors. Is this syndrome familiar to you? Do you think the authors are right about this?

  6. In the book the authors say "Bar Mitzvahs, Weddings, Family Gatherings: The Grudge Starts Here." Which family grudges do you recall that were started from these events? How much do you hold onto grudges yourself?

  7. Humor is one of the main themes in "Secrets". Why do you suppose the authors emphasize humor so much?

  8. What type of friend are you? If you are a front–row friend to someone, in what ways have you demonstrated that friendship?

  9. In the book the authors say that criticizing the kinder is a HUGE mistake. Have you ever criticized a friend's child? Why? What did that do to your friendship?

  10. Lisa believes in having a "nice sized knipple." Do you have one? Do you think you should?

  11. Has money ever come between you and a friend?

  12. Have you ever thought about what you'd be willing to do for money?

  13. How do your views on money affect your judgments about friends and colleagues?

  14. Have you ever heard people generalize about Jews and money? If so, how do you respond?

  15. How much do you value your education?

  16. Do you play a big role in your children's academic life?

  17. In the book the authors say a woman should try and maintain her looks throughout her marriage. Do you agree?

  18. Are you judgmental of others based on how they look?

  19. Are we, as women, too hard on ourselves when it comes to our physical appearance? As a society, are we too obsessed with beauty?

  20. Do you think the authors views on beauty and health are specific to a certain economic and ethnic class of women, or are they universal?

  21. Jill wrote her "Fashion Tips" in the book. What would you add or take out? Do you think it is important to be fashionable?

  22. Lisa was not satisfied with her first career so she decided to engage in another. Would you take a risk like that?

  23. Do you love what you do? How important is loving your job to you?

  24. Do you work in the same field as your degree?

  25. 'Secrets" says: "Make sure your children know you love them, every day and in as many ways as you can." Do you agree with this philosophy? How do you show your kids you love them?

  26. Do you agree with their "Commonsense Parenting Basics?" Why or why not?

  27. Gloria says she hates it when she hears that parents make their kids feel guilty. Auny Cooky thinks guilt reflects a good moral conscience. What do you think?

  28. How much do you think parents should interfere in their adult children's choices?

  29. Should parents try and break up a relationship if they don't like the boyfriend or girlfriend of a spouse? How surprised were you at Gloria and Sol's behavior with Jill and Lisa?

  30. How important was religion to you in choosing your spouse? Is a similar ethnic, religious or cultural background something you stress with your own children in choosing a mate? Why or why not?

  31. Do you understand why the authors have the attitudes they do about their Jewish heritage?

  32. Do you believe in superstitions? If so, which ones?

  33. Jewish women are often accused of being tactless and interfering. After reading this book, do you think this is a fair stereotype? After reading this book, do you think this is a bad thing or a good thing? What did you learn from reading this book?